Thursday, March 15, 2018

Fun Loving Criminals - "100% Columbian" (1998)

This CD is so smooth, you can probably use it as bread spread:

After their initial success with "Come Find Yourself" , which was a bit more punk and hip hop influenced, "100% Columbian" sounds like Barry White stood behind the band with a knobby stick during the recordings.

The records theme is overly melancholic, as if some elder mobster tells tales of old over a glass of 50 year old Chivas

In fact: This record is so schmoove that it, in connection with my cooking and rugged good looks, made girls panties drop so hard that they nicked the hardwood floor.

Favorite songs ? All of them...but in particular:

"Love Unlimited"

"Big Night Out"


and the soul destroying: "We are all very worried about you"

Monday, March 5, 2018

The Survival Pill Box

Remember the EDC Container I tested?

I finally took myself together and put some useful stuff in it.......

The wire lock comes from a frequent flyer luggage tag.
It is very sturdy, thank you Lufthansa, so I thought: Why not.

I bought two of these container, 8 $ including shipping was hard to resist.

Gathering the goodies...

Taharmayim water purification tablets. In my humble opinion the best there are.

A mini BIC with a little "safety".

Two 500mg paracetamol and 4 Loperamid: Against hangover and the side effects of Indian food.

I really like those Mini Glowsticks

All packed and good to go...

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Political Incorrect No 1

With great interest I have been following the development regarding a Food Bank in Germany: The daily leader of the food bank, a retired miner, is closing the doors for all immigrants and is only distributing food for local families. The reason being that the resources could not cover the large influx of Germans from Russia and immigrants from Middle East countries.

Also because the Germans stand no chance with their "stand in line polite and wait to receive whats offered" while countries with lesser strict social rules just elbow ahead and scream until they get what they want.

Above of course caused a great stir in Germany: The left brands the leader of the food bank a Nazi while the right declared him the savior of the Occident.

Both are wrong.

 As noted above...the man is a MINER. Not a demography, like sailors, farmers or contractors,  known for convoluted speech or affinity for the political correct.

The man simply saw that demand was higher than supply and chose to distribute charity to those he KNEW were in dire need.

The man worked 13 years FOR FREE in this position and branding him a sinner or a saint without having walked a mile in his shoes is pure arrogance.

It is depressing to see how social networks, who SHOULD be used to solve bigger issues and/or at least find a common denominator (even if its just to agree to disagree) has become a giant cage where people judge and engage in mutual dung flinging, instead of ...well...instead of what I wrote above.


However, one has to be blind not to see that some persons from countries with a strict/hierarchic background have taken ownership of public spaces in liberal/democratic countries. Try to walk into any public library in Copenhagen and you will see what I mean.

This of course is a problem, for which I do not offer any solution, but we can of course not allow our public spaces to stay a "Little (insert Capitol of any hierarchic country here)" for those who refuse to maintain and live by our social structures.

No matter where they come from.

Unfortunately, a constructive debate have been made near impossible since everyone on the political spectrum have dug their heels in, put their hands over the ears and chant: "LALALALALALA"

I am not advocating stricter rules, higher level of security OR to demonize persons from other countries.  But that pragmatism and ad hoc solutions can be applied by those who are involved locally. WITHOUT them being hi jacked by any political movement.

The main issue must be: How can it be that FOOD BANKS exists in a country like Germany? The greatest economy in the European Union? I mean: The weapons sale to Saudi Arabia alone could fund a whole HUMANE welfare program so nobody had to pay with their pride and hat in hand stand in line for some discarded food from a supermarket.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Crisis Food - Viking Cabbage

This dish is called  "Brunkål med Flæsk" (Sugar browned Cabbage with Bacon) in Denmark and allegedly originates from our globalist forefathers who took their rape/pillage franchise everywhere.

The recipe is simple: Caramelize some sugar and stir cabbage into it, add bacon and let it simmer for some hours. It is one of the dishes that work perfectly together with the Haybox.

During these hours the cabbage will enter an unholy union with the sugar and bacon and will give off a smell that will put your house into the center of attention.

Sweet, heavy and fat. What`s not to like??

Melt some butter, 10 g should be enough.

Add one small cup of white sugar.

Let the sugar melt in the butter as you stir.

Until you have caramel.

Add the cabbage and stir until everything is covered in caramel.

Add bacon: Cubes, slices...does not matter

Let it simmer on medium heat until most of the moisture is gone.
You do not have to add water: There is plenty of water from the cabbage.


Serve on warm rye.

Oh baby....

Together with mustard and beer this dish will satisfy the palate of any Nordic god.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Cotton Pad Fire Starter

 Making fire starters out of cotton balls and petroleum jelly is not a new thing. However I like to use cotton pads since they are easier to manage before and after I added the vaseline /petroleum jelly.

This is not my personal favorite (I prefer to use my Tinder Rasp but the use of petro jelly has its advantages, for instance in very cold weather ( it was -20 degrees Celsius when we took these pictures...we like long and romantic walks with a bit of outdoor cooking on the way).

A "finger scoop" of petroleum jelly on a cotton pad gives a nice hot flame for minutes.

IKEA Hobo Stove ? Check!
Knife? Check!
Chinese Ferro Rod? Check!

"Chinese Ferro Rod?" You ask. Yes, I bought this flint striker/ferro rod for under
5 $ on Ebay from China. No Shipping. I had to wait 7 weeks but it was worth the wait.

Two cotton pads and a small tin of vaseline.

Most cotton pads come in two halves, smooth outside and fibrous and rough on the inside.
You want the rough / fibrous surface since the sparks "nest" in the fibers and catch fire.

Do not smear vaseline on the whole pad, but only 3/4 of the surface.

Place ferro rod (or flint striker...whatever you prefer to call it) over the fibrous/free of jelly part.

And we have FIRE!

Adding my magic mix of dry pine fir needles and sawdust.

Aaaaaand we`re almost ready for breakfast!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Roper 29 - Hard Currency

My knees got a bit wobbly as she radiated her best "I am taking the piss on you, but in the cutest way possible!" and patted the thing behind her.

"This is it gentlemen, your part of the cake. Mine are standing over there!" She nodded over to the end of the dusty "street" connecting the shanty huts.

"Ehrm....." L. said as he stared at was constituted 2 million pre-crash Euro. His name was painted on it with the Government Of The Republic Of Yap`s seal. It kind of looked like a pacific version of a handmade potato stamp. 

The Mandrake`s cash was a bit smaller but she still had to look up to to see it all.

"Not exactly what you call run-away-and-fuck-you-money huh?"

I was glad that she was baffles and possible jet lagged, and conveniently forgot to pull her P 08 and put some decorative holes in M.

M. looked extremely pleased about herself.

"It`s the only thing that is worth anything as per now, the Rock Standard they call it. After the bitch went into interstellar space and left her version of the philosphers stone behind the markets crashed."

She smiled at L.

"My dad is building a turnip empire as we speak, they used the gold bars as marker stones to mark his claim on the community field back in Groszny. That was my inheritance. Thanks again doofus!"

L. looked down and shuffled his feet.

"Are they worth what you say they are?"

"Sure, you can get a certificate of authenticity. But I`m afraid the local boys are not big on paperwork. Come on, lets see our bankers!"

She started to stroll down hill towards the small cluster of huts marking the harbor. A lot of yachts and luxury cruisers were for anchor in the bay.

"What about our cash? We just..I mean."

M. turned and pointed at the lichen growing at the lower half of my 2 T stone coin.

"Its been here for like 150 years, nobody will touch it" a gang of screaming, half naked kids ran towards our money and started to climb them, M smiled sourly "well expect of those guys of course. Come on, generation of kids played with what`s your cash now. Don`t be a dick and take it away from them."

We arrived in the hastily growing shanty town of banks. Every bank in the world hastily build their chapter here, riding the Stone Coin craze and driving the price up.

Desperate looking crowds tried to trade gold, diamonds, art or sexual favors to get a foot inside and park their pre-crash assets in the Yap Coin safe haven.

"If this continues we will be billionaires by the end of the week!" M. said and hooked herself onto my arm.

Friday, February 16, 2018

"Dune" by Frank Herbert (1965)

"Dune" is set in the far future in a rigid feudal system. It is the story about a young aristocrat called Paul Atreides, from infancy on Paul was deeply immersed and indoctrinated in his mothers mind control cult that also runs an eugenics programe of which he is a part. 

The Atreides Clan,  with the Duke Atreides at its head, are busy planning a hostile takeover of a family run business: The planet Arrakis ("Dune") on which the universes rarest commodity, the geriatric "Spice" is produced out of a local animals mating secretions.

The "Spice" cures diseases and prolong the users lifespan considerably but is also extremely addictive and has some other negative side effects like the discoloration of the users eyes. 

I think that I read this book a (felt) thousand times in the bath tub...
and dropped it there many, many times.

The spices other , alleged, "mind expanding qualities makes the spice a part of the mothers mind control cult: It is used to indoctrinate acolytes and make them addicted to the spice and thus dependent on the cult.

The hostile takeover of Arrakis is unsuccessful due to the benign intervention of an anti cartel trade organization (CHOAM) and peace troops send by the Emperor of the known universe.

The hostilities ceased as the Duke is captured and interrogated, meanwhile the increasingly radicalized  Paul and his mother flee to the desert to seek refuge among the natives: A peasant class demographic with radical religious views.

Due to his mothers indoctrination and mind control teachings,  Paul manages to warp and pervert the pious locals religion to his advantage, establishes himself as their "messiah" and creates and army of radicalized youths.

These army of radicalized fighters allow him to take on the entire social structure of the Empire and ends up toppling the old Emperor from his throne.

Immediately after his conquest of the old Empire Paul radically changes the environment of the planet Arrakis which destroys the fragile, ecological niche in which the spice emerges from.

This results in universe wide spice scarcity and millions of lives are destroyed.


I especially enjoy to read "Dune" in it`s Danish translation ("Klit" is danish for "Dune") because of the translators choice of using terms and expressions originating from the time of vikings.