Friday, August 11, 2017

Micro Torch Keyring

So, I am still out at sea and had some cord left from my Survival Monkey Fist -Deluxe project and decided to do something, for a change, productive: A micro torch key ring!

A what?

Ehrm, let me elaborate: A Micro Torch is match on steroids, enhanced with wax to burn brighter, hotter and LONGER. Which makes it perfect as emergency fire starter or as a flickering light source when you explore that Romanian castles dungeons. You which one: The one with the bunch of coffins littering the floor.

Anyhow, I liked the idea of carrying a match like that with me at all times. Preferably connected to some everyday items like....key rings!

First problem was to find a container for the match: It had to small, light and with potential to be made water proof. The solution was to cut of a length of a ball pen and make a key ring out of it.

But see for yourself!


Ta-daaaah! Nice traditional sailors work!

So kids, pay attention! This is a Micro Torch

And this is a Micro Torch snuggly fitted in a ball pen`s casing.

Complete with matchbox striker. The striker turned AWAY from the match...obviously!

Not much room for movement.

Now the key ring: Make the start for a "round platting" (Sailor lingo...AHRR!)

And work your way up using the same knot...again and again!

Nice looking result!

A diamond knot at the end.

Am well pleased with this!

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Roper 24 - Qanāt as-Suwais

It was interesting to see how a latino looks like.

"¡Ay, Dios mío! What is this? The Chupacabra?!"

I stretched my legs on my improvised hammock under the narco subs deck head and tried to find another tetra pack with rum somewhere under my knees.

The unearthly moans and grunts climaxed and sounded for a minute like the audio version of a Hieronymus Bosch painting

"Nah amigo, thats just L. giving The Mandrake an epic pounding against the cargo holds bulkhead!"

M. looked bemused up from the dog eared foto novela.

"Amazing how they get on with it, also amazing how they..."

Her smile died like a flower in the desert as a slow, sub marine shattering pounding recommenced.

"Oh this is BULLSHIT! That`s gotta be the fifth time today!"

"Told you it was a bad idea of giving them that Kola nuts to chew on."

"Smart ass!"

"Harlot!"

Esteban, Master and Commander of the Narco Sub "La Virgen de Guadalupe" closed his eyes and moves his lips like in prayer. The pure man surely had his cross to bear.

"I have a tranq gun somewhere, my men could...."

"Don`t bother..they gotta have to get sore at some point."

"Si, hope dies last. But Senora, we are getting closer to the Bitter Lakes. There your friends...." Esteban shuddered "NOISES will not be drowned out by the ships traffic. The FIL does not look with kind eyes upon smugglers."

"Especially MALE smugglers" M said with a smirk. "I`m sure The Mandrake and I will be on the ok side after we convinced them that you guys are slavers."

"You should not joke with these things...these women, they do terrible things to men!"

"They`ll just need to get some stuff out of their systems I guess."

But it was true. The week long travel between here and Poros, where this proud survivor of the Colombian Navy picked us up close to the ruins of a Russian Naval base, gave us ample time to catch up on recent events over the reestablished SW radio channels: The entire Arabic peninsular was overrun by fanatic hordes by the Islamic Feminist League effectively cock blocking all traffic through the Suez Canal unless the ships are run by woman.

I sipped my rum, things sure went tits up fast , it was less than 4 weeks ago when we ran out of Dubai and away from our captors. God, I miss the internet.

The Mandrake entered the cramped steering house as she pedantic corrected the fit of her vinyl mini skirt. She looked like a cat who lies in a sunny spot.

"We there yet?" she asked as she sat down and grabbed a foto novela.

The subs entire crew starred at her sourly.

L. stuck his head through the hatch.

"Some juice left?"

I threw a tetra pack with Cuban low grade rum at his head. In a rare fit of dexterity he managed to catch it.

"I never seen so much porn in my life! The whole cargo room is full with porn, and after shave...and CK underwear!"

"Si, contraband according to those whore who run this country now! And much more lucrative than mota or coca!"

"You don`t say!" L. said in post coital indifference.

Friday, August 4, 2017

The Survival Monkey Fist - Deluxe Version

I made quite a few of Survival Monkey Fist`s over the last few years. They are basically watertight balls filled with equipment and wrapped in a "Monkey Fist"  knot.




This makes it a very attractive set...so much that I never get to keep the sets I make but "have" to give them away to friends and family, this one is for MYSELF!

"But the Monkey Fist makes it hard to get to the set!" you`d say.

Nope, you can have it out of the knots within 2 minutes, getting back inside again is another story....this also prevents the owner of the set to take pieces out of the set unless it is absolutely necessary

My new favorite container: The Boon Ball





I put 4 tampons for: water filtration and to make a fire inside.
I also add a mini BIC lighter wrapped in 5 m of duct tape

4 paracetamol, good until 2020.

4 Loperamide, to avoid dehydration due to sickness.

I also add a mini fire steel and a Stanley blade.
 
The blade doubles as knife and scraper for the fire rod.
A strong magnet and a razor as improvised compass

Glow sticks because I can....
3 Rolly Toothbrushes
2 size 4 Fishing Hooks with 5 m line.

2 X 5 LFreezer Bags for SODIS

Now a LEGO frame for the monkey fist
The frame is not necessary, just makes it easier (!!).
You think: "Not bad!" and you are right! :-)

Friday, July 28, 2017

Survival Kit Content: Fishing Gear

The chances that you will ever NEED a fishing hook and line...even in an emergency scenario....are so small that it is almost laughable.

Almost...

If done right a fishing hook/line assemble takes up as much space as the condom in your wallet (you optimist you!) and so not much is lost actually carrying it with you. 

At all times.

Unnoticed. 

So in the off chance that you need to pull some protein out of the water: You are ready.

If not: 15 g of extra weight over the years really was not that hard to carry no?

You can see how to tie a hook on a line in my posts: Fishing Hook Knot No. 1 and
 Fishing Hook Knot No. 2

I prepared a bunch of hooks/lines for a line of survival sets/tins I plan to make.

Coiled up and held in place with cable tiers.

But these hooks are a bit to small for deep sea rods....

...we use in the North Atlantic...

...and the Cod we catch :-)

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Hard To Be A God (1989)

I remember that this movie was marketed as "The Russian DUNE"... but apart from the desert setting and the mildly confusing story line: This movie is nothing like mad genius Davis Lynch`s DUNE




The film tells the story of Anton, an agent from future Earth, operating on an alien planet that is inhabited by humans, whose rigid feudal society has not managed to leave the Dark Ages yet.



Anton slowly leaves his role as observer, and cover as sword wielding (rogue) noble man, behind to actively meddle with that societies affairs. (And violates pretty much plotted out to him as observer.)

He does so by rescuing a Da-Vinci-like Renaissance person from prosecution by the all mighty priests and by his participation in a palace coup and elevates himself in to a god like status (thanks to the technology available to him) to promote his agenda.

The film is a lose adaptation of Arkady and Boris Strugatsky` book "Hard To Be God" (Трудно быть богом) and is a co-operation between Soviet and German film makers.

The acting, fighting scenes and sword play is endearingly bad, the set is (for some reason) placed in as stony desert and one can clearly see that most extra`s are locals who never acted before.

So.... why is this movie so great?

Ehrm, if you can see behind all that I just wrote above (and most can) : 

The story holds water and one does get a good idea how it would be to live in an authoritarian, feudal police state, where the religious police prosecutes free thinkers and scientists. 

Now, living in 2017 (with a 20/20 hindsight), with Flat Earthers, anti Vaxxers (*) and a society rapidly falling back in to a state where religious feelings or "meanings" have more importance than facts: This movie more and more appears to be a commentary to present times than a SciFi movie set in the 24. Century. 
     
Never before has klunky, Soviet-era propaganda been more entertaining! Or close to reality!

 (*) Imagine that! A Soviet era movie manages to look 28 years in to the future and predicts the state of OUR society: 

"The heretic claimed (!) that small, invisible creatures are making us sick. Imagine that! But that would mean that vermin living in our blood would have more power than us! Or god!" One noble man says to another in the beginning of the movie.

Does that ring a bell? 


Saturday, July 22, 2017

Roper 23 - Passeig de Gràcia 2

I lit one of the last existing Prince`s and inhaled greedily, tilted my head back and closed my eyes. It can be only a matter of minutes now before the police shows up and ends it all....I hope that the high art of spoon handle stabbery would come easy to me in prison.

Would I be a prison bitch or a ho? Why can a bitch in hip hop songs be both masculine and feminine why ho`s are always feminine?

So many questions, so little time....

L. `s telephone was playing a different tune now: "Strong Culture" by Asian Dub Foundation.

He might be a geek but still has epic music taste.

"Monsieur?"

I wonder which gangs I would join or if I was doomed to be incontinent at a very young age in prison....I bet getting sodomized 24/7 does something bad for bladder control....

"Monsieur? Pardon, my I suggest a swift relocation?"

Someone touched my shoulder

Whut?

I opened my eyes and starred in to a small, dark face with a 1920ies waxed `stache and a giant red fez on top of it.

Sirens getting louder in the background.

"Monsieur, with all due respect. May I offer you transportation in my humble automobile?"

L. and M. came running. L. coiled up his rope in the process and starred to the south end of Passeig de Gràcia.

"I think we better scram...who`s this?"

I took a better look at my new friend: Not a centimeter over 150 and dressed like Professor Tribini.

"Oh, I am just my Masters humble servant and my name is of no significance. Mademoiselle" an elegant little bow towards M. "would you do me the great honor of inviting you for a more pleasant ride in my automobile than the Guardia Civil an offer?"

An elegant little hand pointed towards what looked like as if an Art Deco monument fell on the bat mobile.

"Stutz Bearcat 1972" M. said under her breath, eyes wide open and looking semi orgasmic "but with 4 doors?!"

"Oui Mademoiselle, and may I suggest you use those?"

L. did not waste time but flew on to the backseat together with M.

"Ready Monsieur?" My new friend said as I sat down beside him. He put on racer gloves looking like they cost more than my monthly rent.

"Ehrm yeah..." I managed to say before the acceleration pressed me back in to the seat.

The car potently maneuvered through the impossible dense Barcelona traffic like a welding torch through butter, with our new friend steering with graceful ease...only touching the wheel with a feather touch with the tip of his fingers.

"Thank you man!" I said "that was highly appreciated...but who are you and where are we going?"

"I am here on my Masters bidding...and about my name. I am Hadschi Halef Omar Ben Hadschi Abul Abbas Ibn Hadschi Dawuhd al Gossara." a little satanic smile "but you may, hihi,  call me "Hadschi!"

"You are joking!" L said as he finally turned his attention from the back window "that is really your name?!"

"I am most certainly not joking Monsieur!" again that little smile.

"Huh!" L said and fell back into the luxurious, rich leather.

"Don`t be rude L." M said dreamily as her fingers stroke the cars interior with a dreaming expression.

"Merci Mademoiselle! Our journey to our Masters residence shall be short and swift!" That was underlined by another gentle acceleration tuck.

"Your Masters name is not Kara Ben Nemsi by any chance?" L. asked.

"No Monsieur, what an obscure name!"

"Huh."

"Stop pestering the man L. he is driving! M. still looked as if she was in her own personal nirvana.

The trip was indeed short, suddenly we turned and stood before a giant wrought gate with, what I thought, dragon figures"

"What the hell?!" L. said.

"El Drac de Gaudi!" M. exclaimed... "Oh my god!"

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"Indeed Mademoiselle" the gate swung open "and there is my Master, waiting impatiently!"

A small figure stood in front of a large, palace looking building dressed in what looked like a World War 1 uniform: With wicklers and all.

As we stepped out of the car he rushed towards us with outstretched arms.

"Comrades!" he yelled and gave L. a all embracing hug. Not a mean feat since L was about 40 cm taller than himself.

He hugged me and gave M. a perfect performed kiss on the hand.

"Allow me: My name is Pablo Durruti...Colonel of the Spanish Republican Army  when we fought the fascists in the 1920ies. But you can call me Travis!"

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Fishing Hook Knot No. 2

In Fishing Hook Knot No. 1 we tied a hook with an eye to a line. This knot is for hooks WITHOUT an eye.

Eye? No Eye? 

Confused?

Let me explain!

Left: Hook with eye. Right: Without eye.




So, knots for hooks without eye have to have a large surface area and give the maximum amount of grip/friction.

I will demonstrate this knot on a tent peg, since it makes iteasier for me to make pictures and tie knots at the same...and easier for you to follow.


Just follow the steps as seen on the pictures. Imagine the hook is to the left:-)

This knot is actually a...

..."heaving line knot" but it serves really as a knot for fishing hooks.

Make as many turns as you need TOWARDS the hook.

Make the turns as tight as possible!

Stick the rest of the line through its own loop.

And pull tight!

And I mean TIGHT!

It looks like this when finished.