Wednesday, November 6, 2019

The Directional Figure Eight Knot

The Directional Figure Eight Knot is one of the most overlooked knots in the survival fora, which is funny because most climbers know immediately & exactly what this knot is for and how important it is: It allows you to tie one to several loop(s) into a length of rope, without significantly weakening the rope, and turn it into a rope-ladder.


Personally I use it a lot in trucker hitches and not the wretched practice of using a slip knot: The knot is easily opened again and leaves no "kinks" in the rope.

Let`s see how its made:

So, this is the DIRECTIONAL figure eight knot. Can you see how the loop "flows" with the rope?

As opposed to a loop tied with a normal figure eight knot, you can almost feel the rope "break".
In the beginning there was chaos....

....but then Lars came along and started his knot magic: Create a loop like this.

Lead half of the loop under the main part.

Lead the first half back over...and UNDER the half of the loop that was left behind.

Pull tight...


Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Chapter One - "Mummy, This Orgasm Sucks!"

She would have loved to turn off the video, but her hands were handcuffed to a bar bolted to the table and the table was bolted to the concrete floor.

She could see that the clip has been watched 400 million times...and that number was steadily increasing. She probably seen it 20-30 times herself, including the 5 times withing the last thirty or so minutes.

She looked pleadingly at the two agents over the edge of the screen but the left one just pointed silently back to the screen and she slumped back to watch the few seconds unfold that changed her life.

She could see the smiling face of her friend Catrine (still on the run)  smiling into her telephone lens just trying to make her trademark kind-of-cool-kind-of-hot right turn with her arm stretched out to perform an arc covering that glass pyramid in front of the Louvre. She knew that this was a move Cat has perfected with the help of a coach and a lot of mirror time, but hey: Flashing some side-boob and have it appear classy was an art in itself.

Catrine was just about to break up that 5000 Watt, perfect smile when yelling and some commotion broke that sacred Sunday morning winter silence in Paris which was so rare at golden hour.

Looking closely she could see that the space between Cat`s exquisite (natural, that bitch!) brows wrinkled which meant that the concentration was broken, the seal was off, Pandoras box open and someone would have to pay for it.

She looked in to the camera to signal that this shot was ruined and they could talk. The camera kept running though, material was material and there might be nuggets in the digital junk bulk that would follow.

"What the FUCK is going on! I cant work in this...." Cat said as she turned to her left (her BAD left) and stopped abruptly. Her eyes went wide and she managed to just move a fraction away as a man stepped in to the picture, almost  ran her over even. He was sweaty, out of breath and panicked.

He turned around on his heels and lifted his arms in to a gesture that looked half like a feeble attempt of self defense and half like a plea for mercy.

A large, muscular person with a long, slim and extremely sharp looking knife came in to the picture right after. Obviously preparing to let that knife glide in to the first mans chest in what looked like the beginning of a series of long studied movement that would have been poetry in their own right.

The first man, quite young actually, closed his eyes and looked like as if he would accept the inevitable.

But opened again as a shrill voice screamed "MUMMY, THIS ORGASM SUCKS!!!!").

The first man opened his eyes and his grin collided with the inertia of his first face expression of defeat, the second man froze. Just shortly, but so absolute as if he himself had a profound experience with inertia. As if he had hit a concrete wall. His eyes blinked rapidly and his face showed an odd mix of deep rage and confusion. This only lasted 2-3 seconds and he took on a look of deep determination. Like a shark.

His knife arm described a graceful, but powerful arc that would have cut the first man open from belly button to sternum. The first man (boy?) who just stood there, grinning and with the hands to the side in a "come and get me if you are hard enough, fucker" posture. The knife was halfway to its target when a ditto large but lesser in shape man stepped into this ballet and swung a what appeared to be a length of rope over his head with one end in each hand.

The loop went over the second mans head, went past the torso, hip and knees but came to an abrupt stop at the mans ankles.

The third man turned violently to his right, and made a wide step forward, holding the rope with both hands over his left shoulder This pulled the second man of his feet and he was literally hanging vertically in the air, looking slightly confused, before he fell on his face with a sickening noise.....and on his own knife that was as sharp as it looked.

The first agent reached over and stopped the video.

"So....who is this guy?"

She hid her face in her handcuffed hands and groaned.

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Survival At Sea: The (Disposable) Coffee Cup Hack

Out on the seven seas, coffee is everything. It is manna, a food group of its own, it is like the love of those you leave behind while your life wastes away on the sea.

In short: You better take care of that coffee, son!

ERRV/SAR vessel are ROLLING, notoriously so, extremely compared to other ships. So over the years I developed strategies to preserve my coffee. 

Here is one of them:

Comparable nice weather, my coffee stands firm.
"How do you accomplish that magic feat Lars?"
Well, take a closer look at the base of the cup!
Take two paper/poly cups.

Cut one in half...

Use the upper half as a base for the cup you want to use.



And it rolls...

...and rolls....

And for my fancy thermo cup I made this nice plywood base:-)

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Aerial Photography - Sarbinowo 2019

As we are in love with the Polish seaside, with its Caribbean like beaches, its just natural that I do a lot of kite flying/aerial photography there:-)

Sarbinowo by night.

Sarbinowo by night

Those are the kite`s tails BTW

Me, pulling the kite down to adjust the camera angle.
Not so easy...
....and pull...

....and heave....

Monday, September 9, 2019

Morning and evening views

Over the years I had the chance the view a million (??) amazing sunrises and sunsets on all seven oceans. Obviously I tried to capture these moments, hoping that I could pass on this feeling of majesty and glory of the universe.
Unfortunately a 8 mpx camera can make pretty pictures but not capture emotions and/or associations....

A glorious morning on the North Sea.

One of our daughter craft returning from providing safety services to a oil platform.

Super moon over our port side davit.

Mordor is that way...


....more rain.

Arctic sunrise

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Archmides Son - The Water Screw

I always wanted an irrigation pump for my "Bug Out Location" (cunningly disguised as a "Summerhouse") but could not really defend the price/benefit ratio and I also did wanted to scare potential (paying) summer guests away.

As I read Terry Pratchett`s "The Science Of Disworld - The Globe" the idea of putting a Water Screw, invented by Archimedes, I thought it could work both as attractive garden ornament  + off grid irrigation system/pump from the lake on my lot.

Sooo...I contacted some guys from a Swedish Maritime Engineering College and told two students in need of a summer job what i wanted: They delivered.

What is a Water Screw?

A water screw is a helix, normally in a tight fitting tube, that lifts isolated compartments of water out of a lake/pool. They were used for the hanging gardens of Babylon. Although BIGGER.

It is important to have the helix installed at an angle as to keep the "compartments of water" from getting in to contact with each other: Else wise the water will just run down again.

This particular water screw has walls instead of a tube surrounding it, which basically has the same effect.

The two lads build it, after some very VERY constructive critique of my original draft, and gave me 10 years warranty on it.

Check it out:

Friday, August 30, 2019

Message In A Bottle

After my kids read Jules Verne`s "The Mysterious Island" and "Captain Grants Children" the had the brilliant idea to send a message in a bottle, to see how far that bottle will go and who will find it.

They prepared a message and asked me to throw the message in to the sea when I returned to work.

Hereby done, let`s see who will find it:-)

Time of launch: 12/09/2019 @ 15:32 UTC

Old school or no school: A fitting bottle for the message...

...which looks like this. Including a QR code which will lead the finder to this blog.


I was here at the time of the bottle launch....

...or to be more precise: Dead center between Norway and Scotland!

And while we wait:

Thursday, August 8, 2019

The Lil` Bastard Work Knife

I recently seen some very nice, short but thick bladed knives online I thought they would be perfect for my life onboard Search And Rescue ships and wanted one!

But the price/knife ratio was ridiculous and as a father of three kids I found it hard to justify an expense like that. So...I had to make oit myself: A cheap, short knife perfect for cutting/prying/scraping: The usual lot of a deck knife ;-)

I went down to the engineers workshop and found an old piece of stainless no-one wanted and started filing!

I am perfectly happy with the outcome, all done by hand :-)

Its probably going to be challenging to sharpen it with a Lanskys kit, but I will try.

The Lil` Bastards rough outline.

Aaaaand about 20 minutes after I gave it a proper sharpening :-)