Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Welcome To My Garden - Welcome To HELL!

"The Minority Report" was a terrible movie...but one scene woke me up from my nap in the cinema : That scene where Tom Cruise was trapped and entangled by some genetically modified plants? Whoa!

The idea to add some passive defense to my garden (still living in Denmark) was really exciting..also since we frown on fences of any kind in Denmark.

I went straight to our local garden center:

"Do you have plants or hedges with like huge thorns, leaves that gives a painful rash, flowers that stink like HELL and berries poisonous for children?" 

No, I did not had kids then, did not like my neighbors and the idea of deterring burglars (or at least  delaying them...suffering from painful rashes, all kind of allergies and possibly hallucinating) in a 100%  eco-friendly way, REALLY appealed to me!

Later I found out that a plant like this really exist...but even I would not dare to put THAT thing in my garden: 

I am talking about the Manchineel Tree of course: Basically EVERY PART OF THIS TREE IS POISONOUS! Even burning these trees will result in toxic smoke.....

UPDATE 04-10-17:
I was made aware of that a worse plant than the Machineel tree exists: The Australian "Gympie Gympie"  (Dendrocnide Moroides) and contact with its leaves causes instant, extreme pain that can last several years (that is why it also is called "Sucide Tree"). So if there are any readers from down under: Send me some seedlings please!

But there are less extreme plants out there suitable to deter (or at least delay) an intruder:

Creeping Juniper - Juniperis horizontalis 'Wiltonii' - Also known as 'Blue Rug', has a thorny stem and foliage.

Blue Spruce - Picea pungens 'Globosa' - Rigid branches, irregular dense blue, spiky needles.

Common Holly - Ilex agulfolium - Large evergreen shrub, dark green spiked leaves.

Giant Rhubarb - Gunnera manicata - Giant rhubarb-like leaves on erect stems, abrasive foliage. Can grow up to 2.5m high.

Golden Bamboo - Phyllostachys aurea- Very graceful, forming thick clumps of up to 3.5m high. Less invasive than other bamboos.

Chinese Jujube - Zizyphus sativa - Medium sized tree with very spiny pendulous branches.

Firethorn - Pyracantha 'Orange Glow' - Flowers white in June, with bright orange-red berries. Thorny stem.

Shrub Rose - Rosa 'Frau Dagmar Hastrup' - Excellent ground cover, pale pink flowers, very thorny stem. May to September.

Pencil Christmas Tree - Picea abias 'Cupressina' - Medium-sized tree of columnar habit, with ascending spiky branches.

Juniper - Juniperus x media 'Old Gold' - Evergreen. Golden-tipped foliage. Prickly foliage.

Purple Berberis - Berberis thunbergil 'Atropurpurea'- Has a thorny stem.

Mountain Pine - Pinus mugo 'Mughus'- Is a very hardy, large shrub or small tree, with long sharp needles.

Blue Pine - Picea pungens 'Hoopsii'- Small to medium-sized tree, spiky needled stem, densely conical habit, with vividly glaucous blue leaves. Likes moist, rich soil.

Oleaster - Elaeagnus angustifolia - Small deciduous tree, about 4.5 to 6 m (15 to 20 feet) that is hardy, wind resistant, tolerant of poor, dry sites, and thus useful in windbreak hedges.

Blackthorn - Prunus spinosa - Also called Sloe; spiny shrub. Its dense growth makes it suitable for hedges.

Fuschia-flowered Gooseberry - Ribes speciosum - Fruit bush, spiny, produces greenish to greenish-pink flowers in clusters of two or three.

The following thorny plants can also be considered: Aralia, Chaenomeles, Colletia, Crataegus (including hawthorn/may), Hippophae (sea buckthorn), Maclura, Mahonia, Oplopanax, Osmanthus, Poncirus, Rhamnus, Rosa (climbing & shrub roses), Rubus (bramble), Smilax Prickly ash (Zanthoxylum).

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