Monday, March 27, 2017

Roper 8 - Mafiosi Girl

"You OK there Big Guy?"

Loud retching noises from behind the bush.

She turned towards me.

"He`ll live. Pass it on man!"

I gave her the doobie.

She inhaled and let the smoke cycle between nose and mouth. Exhaled.

"So let me get this straight: You are the two guys from the News? And that from that youtube video, where basically every biker club on this planet promised full membership and a bike for killing you? THOSE  guys?"

More retching.

"Hey, I did not kick THAT hard big guy!" looking at me "I find that hard to believe!"

Not only her.


I flipped some doobie crumgs away and rested both palms on the sun warm trunk of the car.

"It was kind of not our fault and..."

Laughter. As crystal clear and cruel as a Finnish winter night.

"Yes, you poor boys kind of just ran right into that!"

More smoke cycling between her mouth and nose. How did she DO that?!

"And then you kind of just "ran into" some Chechnyan Mafiosi, and those Mafiosi end up beaten to a pulp at a rastplatz without guns, shoes or money"

An elegant foot touched the army green canvas bag I myself did not knew the existence of, until M. hauled it out from the backseat in search for her "fucking clothes". It was full of guns, knifes, wallet and shoes. L. had been very busy during my black out.

"I must admit, your cover is near perfect. Anybody would mistake you guys for some idiots. Right down to the stupid faces and big uglies" she pointed towards the bush "cheap prescription glasses. I seen a lot of heavy hitters in my life. But you guys take the price. Wow, consider me swimming in my panties."

For some reason my face felt very hot all of a sudden. Heavy hitters? Panties? How old WAS she? 21? 23? 130?

"Ehm, yeah. We are ..."

"Hey, don't tell me. I know how it is. Just tell me who...and you only have to nod here...did my mother hire you?"


"Yeah? She did, didn't she?"

"Ehr, no...not really. WHO are you really?"

Scrutinating, deep blue eyes from a ...(Asian? European?) dark little doll like face.

"Ok, I respect that. Professionals" she sighed "Ok, just to make my mum...or whoever your employer is happy: I am..."

She kept on for 3 minutes in which my testicles shrivelled to a pea size and the puking behind the bush intensified with every word.

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