Thursday, February 28, 2019

King Kong (1976)

I just finished "Skull Island" which is another failed interpretation of the King Kong theme. It wasn't as bad as the 2005 "King Kong" atrocity with Jack Black (and basically a film looking like it was made to promote a later video game....and I was right) but still managed to disappoint on all levels:

No mystery, no "great white hunter"feel and (which is bad for an adventure movie) no adventure but just mindless shooting around.


So gather around children, back in the days of old Dino De Laurentiis (who`s greatest cinematographic contribution was to be able to squeeze every cliche in to a movie and be absolutely serious about it) made a King Kong adaption that had it all: Adventure, mystery, great white hunters, savages, the sexual tension between the Great Ape and the White Woman,  which of course is an analogy to societies anxiety when it comes to "mixed" couples.

The movie is set in the mid-seventies and follows an oil exploration/survey vessel to a "mysterious Island surrounded by perpetual fog" (Sounds suspiciously like the Faroer Islands to me!!) in the South Pacific.

They manage to locate the island, pick up an unconscious, shipwrecked wannabe photo-model and a s stowaway investigative reporter on the way, and run into a tribe of savages worshiping a 15 m Ape.

The White Woman gets abducted and prepared as human sacrifice to the ape.

From then it goes fast:
Ape meets girl , Ape loves girl, Girl does a lot of fainting and screaming, great white hunter captures ape, ape is transported to New York, Ape escapes, kidnaps all ends tragic. For the ape that is.

Skinny, cute/stupid blondes are made out of teflon and immortal it seems....

All in all: A perfect movie for us political incorrect old bastards who just want some good entertainment without having to bother about a "message".

Straight up offensive for 2019 standards and that is what makes it GOOOOOD!

The cast is pretty star heavy: Jeff Bridges as the stowaway journalist with the irritating information advantage (and the first appearance of his later alter ego "The Big Lebowski")

Aaaand:  A young Jessica Lange as the shipwrecked White Woman, who is painfully cute to look at in over sized sailor and is gracefully carrying the movie over long stretches with her acting as super naive blonde.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Crisis Food: Potato Soup

I think one of my life`s better decisions was to continue the compulsory 3-4 years of cooking classes in Danish schools and take on cooking as an extracurricular activity: It was VERY helpful during my broke-ass study times, and MORE than helpful to lure an unwitting female to my dank lair and a well made meal was covering the untidy corners and (or) the less appealing sides of my person.

So, as it is pretty hard to grow cans of ready made food, cooking is essential for long term survival (DUH!).

Especially of you are one of those who plan to hike out and plant beans somewhere during or after SHTF. Set aside the lack of basic gardening skills: What is your plan exactly with those beans, pilgrim?

I felt it was my fault when my children declared "There was nothing to eat!" during a summerhouse stay in Sweden. Realizing that I was a bit to dominant in the kitchen and did not share of my (cough cough) "wisdom".

What do you mean?!

We have TONS of food!

I decided to make a number of basic dishes made out of stuff usually left behind in the fridge to show my kids that resources are abundant, we just need to be able to combine them (I actually made a Minecraft analogy at this point...millenials)

This is the Otzen`s special potato soup: So high on carbs that it can keep a hardworking man on his feet for most of the day....even though most need a wee sit-down after a bowl of it :-)

Found some leftover potatoes.

This, my dear millenials, is a "Potato peeler"

Mine supports ambidextrous handling as I am a south paw. 


We have the potatoes, now to add some extra taste. The forgotten leek some optimistic
soul has bought can finally come to some good use after a week of waiting.

Hey, look at that. It`s evil twin is joining the party!

Cut the leeks in slices. Dump it in the same water with the potatoes.

Oh, found some OLD celery and pasternak leftovers...they will add some taste.
Go easy on the celery though!

All vege on board.

Apply heat!

I could go on for hours on how to make a great base bouillon, but
we just use a bouillon cube left behind by other summerhouse guests .. probably years ago.

You know what is the best about making food from base materials: COMPOST!!

Boil the vege until it is soft...then use a potato masher...
...or..if you have electricity: Use a blender.

Blend it to your preferred viscosity. Mine is "chunky".

Add some bacon, spam or sausage and let it simmer for 30 minutes.

And ready to eat! Goes great with cold beer!

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Kelly Kettle Hack No. 7 & 8 - The Heat Sleeve and KK + Swedish Candle

The Kelly Kettle has only ONE minus: The large surface of the kettle cools the water down very fast. 

This is kind of a drag in winter time during ice fishing when I don`t want to use fuel every time I want/need something warm to drink (And I don`t want to leave the ice just to collect some more twigs).

I b....d and moaned about to my wife who jokingly said: Then put a sweater on it, then its not getting cold so fast and will warm up faster.


My KK with heat sleeve ( "KK sweater")

Kelly clean condition!

Two old cotton rags/tea towels.

Two half hitches around the spout.

And then half hitches along the length of the KK to keep the towels in place.

Like this.

And done!

Not pretty, but it will work!

I remembered to make a sleeve for my KK, but forgot the fire base.
Swedish Candle will do the job instead.

Boiling time under half of usual time! BAM! (Minus 2 Degree Celsius outside today)

Monday, February 4, 2019

Swedish Candle, part deux

So, I got my own (electric) chainsaw. We bought to fell the trees surrounding our new house it was pretty hard to justify the ownership of a chainsaw.

Anyways, until I started decorating our garden with Swedish Candles 

Roaring like a jet engine!
Take a log and cut a cross ALMOST all the way to the bottom.

Light a fire in the center of the cross....

....and watch the magic happen!